First thing to do was to have a look around the neighbourhood and see what had changed. I suppose the best place to start would be the Stupor-market. Let's see what wonder awaits!
Well, at least the car can still be driven, I suppose people have become nicer since I left.
The entry to the Supermarket still looks like a detention centre.
See, normally I'd overlook a bit of this sorta thing, but I know what kind of filth lives in the vents of this particular supermarket. See, I went to Primary School right next door to it, and there was this constant seepage from the air duct exhausts which was about half a step above a melted garbage bin in pleasent smell. While this is unpleasent enough, the fact that something was generating this did not cause me to place a great deal of faith in the upkeep of that centre. Given that the vents now project directly onto the floor, with naught a grill to hold back the critters, I can only hope that hygene standards have improved markedly since then. Otherwise... eww.
Turns out that Bacon is a fruit in Maitland.
See, here's a classic sign that you live in Maitland. You haven't thought through how to properly communicate your actual intent. I see this, and I get the following image stuck in my head:
This used to be the hippy shop, where you could get fortunes and readings and all that. Guess they didn't see this one coming.
See, the thing about Maitland is that it's incredibly resistant to change. Especially when that change involves a modicum of effort or thoughtfulness on someone's behalf. Take this shed for instance. It's all wonky and pathetic, right? This is a field for livestock which sees active use. This horse shed collapsed back in the flood in 2007. Is it safe? Hell no. Does one cow jump under it in the rain as it is the only shelter available? Yes. Do all the other cows stand and stare at that cow when it rains? Yes.
How to tell if there have been traffic accidents in Maitland is a simple matter. Just look for unrepaired property damage.
I'm not sure what I find the oddest. The fact that we missed the culpret of this heinous act of graffiti by 20 years and 1 day exactly, or the fact that this shed has developed an infection of something which can only be described as "BIRD HOLES". These are the kind of things that horrors spew forth from in most films. The lesson for the kids and kiddies here is STAY AWAY
But some things never change. Like the spray-painted speed-limit on that sign of 2150 km/h, and the fact that I feel like all my ambition, drive, determination., hope, enthusiam for life, and love for my fellow human drain out of my very essence every single time I enter the city limits.
Visit Historic Morpeth! Yesterday's trash is your future!
Oh what the hell is this I don't even...
I think we'll leave the last word with my dog.
"Dude, you can leave any time. I'm stuck here."
